How Long Will I Love You?
by tv-addict007
Summary: It was their big day and Kate had a moment for herself to reflect on her life and how far she came. She thought back about the many times Castle affected her life and got her to where she was now. One Shot.


**Good morning everyone :) As I listened to music yesterday, this little One Shot formed in my head.**

**I want to apologize in advance for any mistake you'll find.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

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**How Long wanting I Love You?**

She didn't know how, but here she was. At a point in her life she hadn't dared to think about years ago. She looked at herself in the big mirror she stood in front of. She took note of hair that was pinned up and a small, soft, white flower was tucked at the right side. Her fingers drifted slowly over her white dress as she thought back to the many moments he was at her side.

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Everything began with the fact that he saved her with his words. She arrived at the lowest point of her life and was slowly drowning by her sorrows. She had no idea how to move on. Her mom was dead, her dad started to drink too much alcohol and she lost the meaning of life around that time. She just existed. Day by day.

After a few weeks she felt finally ready to enter her mom's bedroom. Her eyes drifted over the things that belonged to her mom. Her clothes, her jewelry and the family picture on her bedside table. She looked at the picture for a few seconds and longed for the good times. Eventually her eyes darted a little to the left side. Beside the picture laid the book that her mom was just started to read. She took it and opened the first page. Normally she wasn't a fan of mystery books, but she had the feeling to be a little bit closer to her mom if she'd read it. She took place on her mom's side of the bed, rested her back on the head board and started to read. She sat there for hours, drank in word after word and felt how the meaning of life came back to her. She found a direction again. A direction which will lead her slowly back to life.

Rick Castle once told her that the first time he saved her life was when he distracted the assassin with a champagne bottle, but he was wrong. The first time he saved her with his words from her own demons. Many years, before he stepped personally into her life.

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When she got to know her savior personally, she was a little bit disappointed. He behaved like a child. He did what he want, was selfish, self-satisfied and always got on her nerves. She couldn't believe that such a person could handle words so well. However, after some time she saw his other facets. She didn't just see him as the shallow mystery writer he played for the media. She got to know the father in him. The son. The good friend. The partner who stood always by her side.

Even if his wild and crazy theories got sometimes on her nerves, she had to admit that she hadn't felt so free and light in a long time. Though she had happy moments and smiled often, Rick Castle was the first who made her start to live properly again. To enjoy her life. She didn't just think about her job and even if she'd never admit it, she started to like him. He once saved her with his words and now he led her bit by bit back to life. As her mentor Captain Montgomery once told her: he was good for her.

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She couldn't believe that he didn't stay away from her mother's case, despite her repeated warnings. She just got the feeling that she could finally move on when he opened the box of Pandora again. He obviously couldn't understand the word ‚no'. She was mad and hurt. She wanted to save what was still to be saved and for protection of further pain, she told him to go.

But again, he couldn't or wouldn't do what she wanted him to do. He fought her, wanted to show her that there was still hope. Hope to eliminate her last demons. He promised her that he'd help her, to be with her every step down the road and she trusted him. Let herself be infected with this small sparkle of hope and started her investigation again with him by her side. However this time felt different. She hadn't the feeling of being sucked into that black hole of nothingness. It was as if his presence was an anchor that kept her from falling. This time she had somebody by her side she could hold onto and for the smallest of moments, she thought she may have found her soul mate.

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In the third year of her partnership with Castle, she wasn't sure how to behave around him anymore. Esposito made her aware that Castle saw her as more than his muse, friend or even partner. This gave her something to think about, because she could handle their Status Quo, but nothing more. It overwhelmed her, but still, she came to the conclusion that she was ready to risk it. She didn't care how he presented himself for the media, how self-centered he was, because she knew better. She knew she could trust him.

But before she could talk to him he already started another attempt at a relationship with his second ex-wife Gina. He bid his farewell and left with the promise to be back in the fall, but she doubted she'd see him again. She couldn't believe that she was ready to let herself fall for him. She was just glad that it wasn't too late then and that she didn't have to pick up too many pieces.

Just when she started to think that she closed that chapter with him, he magically appeared in her life again. She wasn't really happy about that, but even if he had hurt her unknowingly, she couldn't forbid him to come back to the precinct and she secretly didn't want to either. He promised her that he would help her with her mother's case and she really needed her partner back, as much as she'd deny that fact.

She tried to ban her feelings and to move on. While he was gone, she started a relationship with someone else and she didn't want to risk her chance. But it wasn't easy. She covered up her feelings and distracted herself with her mother's case. They got new insights. Even if the whole case got more and more confusing and complicated, they didn't give up. She felt that they got closer to the answer of everything.

This fact was confirmed when it looked like the persons behind her mother's murder lost their control over the situation. They were forced to drastic measures and she'll never forget the day her mentor and friend gave his life for hers.

Just as she won't forget the moment she was shot. How the life slowly left her. The desperate look on Castle's face and the first time he declared his love to her.

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When she slowly started to remember the events she couldn't believe that Castle confessed his love to her. But she wasn't sure. Had he really confessed his love to her or had she dreamt it? She needed time. Not only to sort out her feelings, but to recover herself from her injury.

But it wasn't as easy as she hoped. Nightmares haunted her in her sleep. Every noise that was a little bit too loud, startled her. But she fought. She struggled every day a little bit back into life. She told Castle she'd call him, but she wasn't strong enough to handle the situation with him. She didn't even know what to tell him, so she gave up to try and contact him.

When she was back in the city, she stumbled a little, but soon found her footing again. But once again, she owe it to Castle's presence that she caught herself again. That didn't mean that everything was alright again though. She had to continue fighting with herself and noticed fast that her therapy sessions and the company of her friends and family helped her.

She could also control her feelings better. She felt how she came slowly to a point in life in which she could open up to Castle and she was glad that he understood that she needed some time until she was ready. Any other man would've turned around and given up, but not Castle. He waited and this meant more to her than anything else.

However something held her still back. She started to believe that she could only be ready for a relationship if she could get rid of her last demon and that meant she had to find the one behind her mother's murder.

She put everything she had into the case. She wanted to finish this chapter once and for all and she was so close to the answer than ever before. But all of the sudden something happened that she never had thought would happen. Castle, her partner and the man who promised her to help her with her mother's case, wanted to quit the investigation. She felt betrayed. Betrayed by the person she trusted the most.

He wanted her to decide. Him or her mother's case. She couldn't have both, but she was so keen on finally getting her mother's murderer, that her decision wasn't that hard in that moment.

The fact that it hadn't hurt would be a lie. Castle became a large part of her life and to see how he turned his back on her and walked out of her life, was one of the most painful moments in her life. But she forced her pain to the back of her head and concentrated on the case again. She was so close she couldn't just stop now.

But once again was Castle right. She had no chance against them and when she hung on that roof, looking down into her death, she began to regret her choice. She suddenly knew that she made the wrong decision. And if she'd die and see her mother on the other side again, she had nothing to show her. She had nothing. She never really lived her life. She let her life be dictated by her mother's murder.

Would her life really end like that? A lonely death? She promised herself immediately that if she'd get another chance at life, she'd change.

Again, she lived through a near death experience and she had to face the consequences of her actions, though she didn't care. She only thought about one thing: her promise to herself to be happy. She didn't care anymore about her job. She just wanted to be with the one person who always was there for her. She hoped it wasn't too late.

For one moment, when she was completely drenched and vulnerable in front of him, she really thought she was too late. That he didn't want her anymore. So she was very happy that he still wanted her after all that happened and she found it unbelievable how a human being could get everything he or she ever dreamed of in one little second. She had her soul mate back.

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If she thought, she lived a proper life before, then by all means she hadn't really lived. She'd never thought that she could be so happy again, with him by her side. So many things have happened in her life. Good things as well as bad things and he always was by her side.

They finally put the last piece into place and solved her mother's murder and even it didn't end like she hope it would, she had the feeling that she got a little bit of herself back again. Besides she was confident that Bracken eventually will get punishment.

There good times as well as bad time in their relationship, but until now they mastered them all. They didn't have to pretend anything in front of their loved one anymore, have lived through their first family dinner, introduced new traditions, stood by each other in hard times and even got the chance to get experience of parenthood, even if it was nothing new for him.

Even when she fell back into old habits and told him nothing about her job offer, he hadn't let her down. When she sat on that swing and listened to him, she thought she'd have lost him again. Therefore she really was surprised when he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. She was briefly confused and didn't know if this was real or not. And she didn't want him proposing to her for the wrong reasons, but as usual his words calmed her and there was really only one answer in her mind.

She really found her place in life. By his side. He the one.

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"Katie?"

Kate turned around to her father. He stood in a nice black suit by the door. She saw in his eyes that he was happy. Happy that his daughter had found someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

„Are you ready?"

„Just one moment."

Kate went to the table which stood at the right side of the room and took the bouquet from the vase. She slowly went to her father and hooked her arm in his. In the hall were already Alexis, Lanie and Jenny waiting for her. Before they entered the church, Jim Beckett lowered his head and gave his daughter a kiss on the head. „You are beautiful. Your mother would be proud of you."

Kate briefly squeezes his arm and gave him a small smile. She hoped that her mother would watch from heaven.

At that moment the doors opened. The music started to play and all her and Rick's loved ones were looking at her, but she had only eyes for the man who stood at the end of aisle and smiled at her.

She made it. She found a home and she knew that she gotten her life completely back.

Thanks to him.

Her soul mate.

Her one and only.

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**Like it?**


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